Play Therapy For Children
Neurodivergent-affirming play therapy in Washington and Montana for sensitive, intense, anxious, grieving, or big-feeling kids.
DYLAN SPRADLIN, MA, MSW, LCSW, LICSW
Children do not always use words to tell us what is wrong.
They tell us through play. Through movement. Through behavior. Through what they repeat, avoid, hide, knock down, build, bury, rescue, destroy, arrange, and show us sideways.
Virtual play therapy gives children a way to communicate from their own space, with the toys, objects, pets, rooms, corners, blankets, art supplies, and tiny mysterious treasures that already belong to their world.
This is not “just talking on a screen.”
It is play therapy through a different doorway.
Things aren’t working anymore, and maybe this is what you see:
Your child has big feelings that seem to take over their whole body.
They are anxious, sensitive, reactive, shut down, angry, grieving, perfectionistic, or overwhelmed.
They melt down over things that look small but clearly feel enormous to them.
They communicate through behavior more than words.
They are neurodivergent, suspected neurodivergent, deeply sensitive, imaginative, intense, or simply not responding to the usual advice.
You are tired of trying to make them smaller, easier, or more compliant when something deeper is clearly going on.
How virtual play therapy works
In virtual play therapy, your child does not need a perfect therapy room.
They need a private-enough space, a device they can use, and access to simple materials that help them play, create, move, and express what words may not yet be able to hold.
Children who are a good fit for virtual play therapy need to be old enough to navigate the basics of the technology with some independence. They should be able to follow a link, use the device, and reconnect if the connection drops.
They do not need to sit still.
They do not need to keep the camera perfectly propped up.
They do not need to make eye contact or perform therapy correctly.
If I see the ceiling fan, the underside of a table, one nostril, a stuffed animal close-up, the floor, a blanket fort, a dark screen, or the inside of a pocket — that is not automatically a problem.
It is information.
And often, it is play.
What your child may need for sessions
Parents and caregivers, you help set up the environment so your child has access to materials for play and expression.
This may include (a few, not all):
A few favorite toys, figures, animals, dolls, vehicles, blocks, or building materials
Paper, markers, crayons, pencils, tape, scissors, or other art supplies
Pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, or comfort items
A tray or shallow container for sensory play
Shells, cotton balls, fabric scraps,
A sheet cake pan or bin with rice*, beans*, small pebbles, or sand
*If rice or beans are sacred or culturally meaningful in your family, please do not use them for play. Small stones, pebbles or another sensory material can work instead.
If you do not worry about mess, sand in that sheet cake pan can be wonderful.
If you do worry about mess, that is also useful information. We can work with that too.
Yes, your child can move.
Your child may sit, stand, pace, build, draw, hide, turn away, go outside with a portable device, show me the dog, take me to the backyard, crawl under a blanket, or need a movement break.
That is not “bad therapy behavior.”
That is a nervous system communicating.
When a child moves the camera, goes quiet, turns away, refuses, shows me something unusual, or makes the technology part of the play, I am paying attention. Not in a judgmental way. In a clinical way.
What is being communicated?
What am I feeling as I witness it?
What is the child inviting me into?
What is the nervous system showing us?
Play is not always tidy.
Neither is healing.
What I am doing while your child plays
My role is not to entertain your child, direct the play, or force them to talk about feelings.
My role is to stay steady, curious, regulated, and deeply attuned to what is happening.
In Synergetic Play Therapy™, I pay attention not only to what your child is doing, but also to what is happening inside me as I witness the play. If the play makes me feel confused, rushed, helpless, excluded, delighted, tense, protective, sleepy, amused, or overwhelmed, I notice that.
Not because your child is “making me feel” something on purpose.
Because children often communicate their inner world through the experience they create with another person.
What gets activated in me may be part of what your child is carrying.
My job is to notice, regulate myself, and stay connected.
That regulated presence helps model regulation at the nervous system level. Your child does not have to be lectured into calming down. They get to experience another nervous system staying with them while big feelings, chaos, hiding, silliness, fear, frustration, or disconnection show up.
That is part of the work.
Parent support is part of the therapy
Virtual play therapy works best when parents are supported too.
You may help prepare materials, support privacy, troubleshoot the technology, and make sure your child can access the session. Depending on your child’s age and needs, we may also schedule parent check-ins or parent sessions to talk about what I am noticing, what is happening at home, and how to support repair and connection outside the therapy hour.
This is not because you are doing it wrong.
It is because children do not heal in isolation from the relationships and environments they live inside.
When parents understand what is happening underneath the behavior, the whole family has more room to shift.
Virtual play therapy may help with:
Anxiety, fears, worries, or avoidance
Big emotions, meltdowns, anger, or shutdown
ADHD, autism, AuDHD, PDA traits, or sensory sensitivity
Grief, loss, divorce, family change, or major transitions
Perfectionism, shame, people-pleasing, or fear of disappointing others
School stress, masking, social overwhelm, or burnout
Difficulty naming needs, boundaries, or feelings
Ruptures in connection with parents or caregivers
Stressful or traumatic experiences that are still showing up in the body or behavior
Is virtual play therapy right for every child?
No.
Virtual play therapy can work beautifully for many children, especially sensitive, imaginative, neurodivergent, intense, or easily overwhelmed kids who may feel safer in their own space.
But it is not the right fit for every child or every situation.
If your child is in active crisis, needs a higher level of care, cannot safely engage online, or needs in-person support, we will talk about that honestly. The goal is not to force virtual therapy to work. The goal is to find the right kind of support for your child and family.
Your child is not too much.
They may be overwhelmed.
They may be communicating through behavior because words are not available yet, not safe yet, or not enough yet.
They may be showing us the inside of their nervous system through play, movement, silence, resistance, imagination, or chaos.
Virtual play therapy helps us listen.
Not so your child can become easier to manage.
So they can feel more understood, more connected to themselves, and more supported by the adults who love them.
Ready to begin?
Start with a free virtual consultation.
We’ll talk about what is happening, what kind of support you are looking for, and whether virtual play therapy feels like the right fit for your child and family.